Week 10 EOC: Lawyer Jokes

 Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of Heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day. The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters. The room was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a low-grade Motel 6-type establishment. The lawyer was then taken to his room, which was a palatial suite including a private swimming pool, a garden, and a terrace overlooking the Gates. The attorney was somewhat taken aback, and told St. Peter, "I'm really quite surprised at these rooms, seeing as how the Pope was given such small accommodations." St. Peter replied, "We have over a hundred Popes here, and we're really very bored with them. We've never had a lawyer."

A man and a woman were conversing at a party. The woman said: "Lawyers are jerks." The man responded: "I take offense to that remark." "Why," said the woman. "Are you a lawyer?" "No," he responded: "I'm a jerk."

Q.  What do lawyers use for birth control?

A. Their personalities

 In Portuguese, a lawyer is called advogado; in French a lawyer is called avocat; and in Italian, a lawyer is called avvocato.  All three language appear to compare lawyers to avocados, because both the fruit and lawyers have hearts of stone.

    One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail when he tripped over a large snake and then he fell, KerPlop! — right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me," said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and cannot see."

    "That's perfectly all right," said the snake. "Actually, I think it was really my fault. I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

    "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

    So the snake felt the bunny all over, and then said: "Well, you're soft and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail, and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a BUNNY RABBIT!"

    And the little bunny was so pleased that he danced with joy. He told the snake, "I can't thank you enough. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

    The snake replied that he really didn't know, because he also was blind. So, the bunny said, "Let me return the favor and examine you." When the bunny had finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of animal am I?"

    The bunny replied: "You're hard; you're cold; you're slimy, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a . . . . lawyer." And the snake was very sad.

"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?''

"Well, your Honor," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."

Middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road. They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither is hurt. It's impossible to assess blame for the accident on either however. They both get out. One is a doctor, one is a lawyer. The lawyer calls the police on his car phone; they'll be there in 20 minutes. It's cold and damp, and both men are shaken up. The lawyer offers the doctor a drink of brandy from his hip flask, the doctor accepts, drinks and hands it back to the lawyer, who puts it away.

"Aren't you going to have a drink? " the doctor asked.

"AFTER the police get here," replies the lawyer.

One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"

The student replied, "Here's an orange."

The professor was livid. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"

The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding..."

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question: "Have you ever been arrested?"

He answered no to the question.

The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question with a yes, was "why?"

Nevertheless, the lawyer answered it "Never got caught."

It was so cold last week I saw a Lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!

EOC Week 9: Wall Street Journal Editorial Opinion

"All states are explicitly barred from regulating the possession, use, distribution and sale of pot and narcotics under the federal Controlled Substances Act of 1970. Like it or not, Congress declared marijuana to be a dangerous drug that should be banned." I've never fully understood the marijuana situation. How can something be illegal in the nation, but legal in certain states within that nation? It doesn't make much sense to me, but I'll admit there are many laws that I find to be quite silly.

Legalizing marijuana is very controversial because there are polar opposite opinions on the drug. Some people believe marijuana is a dangerous drug, and even though it is a natural plant, it is a drug non-the-less. People use the plant to get high... sounds like a drug to me.

However there are many positive opinions about the drug. Marijuana supporters will explain how the drug is only a plant and is more natural and less dangerous than cigarettes or alcohol. Weed advocates make a good point when stating that no one has ever died from smoking weed, but many have died from too much alcohol.
"Mr. Obama could lead that debate, or at least offer his view, but he knows that the politics of drug legalization is still tricky and there could be a backlash in states with hot Senate races next year. Yet he also doesn't want to offend his pot-loving liberal base. So his political default is simply to declare he won't enforce current federal law"

Okay, honestly... I couldn't hardly care less about the situation. Weed is weed. I agree that it is natural, and probably less dangerous than alcohol. I agree that marijuana should be treated like alcohol when people are behind the wheel or underage. I agree that not much will change whether or not weed is legalized. People that smoke it, will continue to smoke it. People that don't still won't.

The president needs to make up his mind cautiously. He needs to realize that if he doesn't respect the laws then neither will his country.
"Don't be surprised if millions of Americans begin to follow the President's example and conclude that they also don't have to follow laws they don't like—and not merely smoking reefer on the front porch." 

Final Project: My Opinions

This may sound silly, but the more I've thought about it, I wish I would have talked to a female lawyer. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed hearing Brian's views and opinions, and I was lucky that I didn't have to call around office to office looking for a lawyer to interview. However, I wonder if a female lawyer would have had better answers for me since she might have a greater respect for fashion. It's makes sense right? Or maybe it would have even been better to speak with someone who works with retailers. Either way, I still learned from Mr. Smedley. In learned about: 

1.contracts "Contract: a promise that the law will enforce." (Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg 144), 2.alcohol licenses "People who serve alcohol to others take a risk."(Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg 106),
3.trademarks "Consumers use trademarks to distinguish between competing products." (Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, pg 509)
4.Patents "Business method patents have been particularly common in e-commerce."
(Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, 502)


Mr. Smedley also gave me some pretty good information about starting my own business. I agreed with James on everything he said. I would probably have to know as much about law as he does in order to form more of an opinion. I liked what he had to say and feel that I learned from him.

As far as laws go, there are always going to be laws that I disagree with. Sometimes certain laws just don't make sense to me. For example: A person is aloud to drive, vote, go to war, and move out of home all by the age of eighteen, but aren't considered old enough or responsible enough to drink. That ;aw has never quite made sense. Just the same, there are a number of laws I am glad exist: like patents, contracts, drinking and driving, texting and driving, the list goes on. 

I enjoyed this project because it was the first and probably only time I will actual interview a lawyer one on one, or at least have a good excuse to. I enjoyed learning from James and picking his brain about his knowledge of the law. He helped me understand why some laws are the way that they are, whether I agree with them or not. "Law is intriguing." (Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, pg 4)

Final Project: Rule of Law

After my interview with an attorney I felt much more knowledgable and comfortable about a few of the laws I have been curious about. I was glad to hear more about patents and trademarks and why each one is important. "Trademarks are important to both consumers and businesses. Consumers use trademarks to distinguish between competing products." (Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg 509)

I have just recently become more interested in patents as I have started to come up with business ideas and designs. "When two people invent the same product, who is entitled to the patent—the first to invent or the first to file an application? Until 2013, the person who invents and puts the invention into practice has priority over the first filer. But in 2013 the law changes so that the first person to file a patent application has priority. This change brings the United States into conformity with the patent systems in most of the rest of the world." (Beatty & Samuelson pg 504)

My lawyer also helped me gain knowledge about ways I could be getting "screwed over" doing certain gigs for modeling. He explained that some companies are getting away with things (using my pictures without permission, not sticking to contracts) because I am being too lenient. After speaking to James Smedly I learned that I need to stand up for myself when a modeling agency or photographer thinks they can take advantage of me. Good thing from now on I will not be ignorant about the law. Many people may seem trust worhty, when really that are not. "Ethical decision making generates a range of benefits for employees, companies, and society. Although ethical business practices are not required, the remainder of this chapter makes the case that they are sound."Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg 18)

Although the lawyer I interviewed didn't have a specific answer to every single one of my questions, he always had a pretty good answer or at least some good information of where I might find my answer. He told me that there are certain exceptions to some laws, but it is typically unethical to try to get around certain parts of the law, depending what it is. "

  "Ethics lies largely beyond the realm of law"

Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg 17)

Final Project: Reasoning of the Law

Although he admitted he may not have a answer to every question, James definitely tried his best and answered my questions enough to give me a general understanding of each question.

"People who serve alcohol to others take a risk. In some circumstances, they can be held legally responsible for the actions of the people they serve. Is this fair? Should an intoxicated person be the only one liable if harm results? If not, in what specific circumstances is it fair to stretch liability to other people?"Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg. 106)

For my first question, James didn't have much of an answer about the liqour license. He explained that retailers have to be expremely careful not to serve to minors or they could get in loads of trouble if someone found out. "Suppose you serve alcohol to a guest who becomes intoxicated and then causes an automobile accident, seriously injuring a pedestrian. Should you, the social host, be liable?"

(Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg. 8)

I am really glad that I asked the lawyer questions about laws that apply to my modeling career. He helped me realize how important it is for both parties to stick to a contract and that I can take the agency to small claims court for not paying my money for the gig I did for them. He also told me that I am aloud to alter a contract as much as the other party will allow. This is something I was defnitely not aware of. "A contract is merely a legally enforceable agreement. People regularly make promises, but only some of them are enforceable. For a contract to be enforceable, seven key characteristics must be present." (Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg 143)

When I got to my questions regarding patents and trademarks, my lawyer seemed to have a lot of information. He explained that a patent is something that secures an idea for an invention or idea so no one else can use the idea. While a trademark is something I business uses to identify themselves that no one else can copy.

"Trademark: Any combination of words and symbols that a business uses to identify its products or services and distinguish them from others." (Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, 2012-01-11. pg 509)

"Patent: A grant by the government permitting the inventor exclusive use of an invention for a specified period. A patent is not available solely for an idea, but only for its tangible application. " Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, pg 502)

Sole proprietorship: An unincorporated business owned by one person.

Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, pg 373) James Smedley and I also talked about the steps it would take and laws to consider when opening my own business. He helped me understand what laws might be in my favor, and which ones might make owning a business a challenge. Luckily, I feel more confident in my knowledge after learning about specific laws from him. "If an individual runs a business without taking any formal steps to create an organization, she automatically has a sole proprietorship. It is, if you will, the default option. She is not required to hire a lawyer or register with the government. The company is not even required to file a separate tax return—all profits and losses flow through to the owner and are reported on her personal return."(Beatty, Jeffrey F.,  Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, pg 373)

Final Project: The Questions

Student Name: Haley Herdman
Class BUS250H Contracts, Negotiations and Copyrights
Judge or Lawyer’s Name: James Smedly
District or Firm’s Name: Law Offices of James J. Smedley, Esq.

1. I plan on opening my own luxury boutique in the future. To increase the luxurious experience of the place I'd like to serve Champagne to clients and guests. I've considered a bar with a bar tender, or maybe an exclusive room, etc. I know that many luxury retailers in Las Vegas (Louis Vuitton, Michael Kors, etc.) are able to bend the rules and serve alcohol at events or for VIPs. However, I also know the law will make this idea nearly impossible. Do you have any information regarding the laws behind alcohol licenses for a situation like mine?


2. I see many clothing companies use quotes or logos from other brands. For instance: coca cola, mountain dew, Disney movies, Dr.Suess books, and many more. How can brands get away with using logos and pictures that aren't their own?


3. As a model working under an agency, it is very important to have a contract to ensure that both parties hold up their end of the deal. What should be done in a situation where the agency doesn't pay the model? Especially if the expected amount of payment is under $500.


4. If I model in an unpaid photo shoot for a business, and they use my pictures in their advertising without my documented consent, could I sue the company for my share of the profit they are making by using my photos?


5. On average, how much does it cost to patent an idea?


6. How are music artists aloud to make covers of songs that aren't their own song?


7. What's the difference between a trademark and patent?


8. Merchandise for my boutique is being sent by the manufacturer and is lost or damaged in the process. Who is responsible? If my shipment was uninsured, will I have any chance of being reimbursed for the mistake?


9. To what extent am I aloud to alter and change a contract?


10. From a lawyer standpoint, do you have any advice for me starting my own business?


Each of these questions apply to me in some way shape or form. Because I am not quite sure what career I want, I asked different questions based on all the different things I might choose to do in the future. I asked about laws for owning a business because I might choose to open my own boutique one day. I asked questions regarding modeling since I currently do many modeling gigs at this time in my life. I asked about trademarks and patents just in case I ever come up with a great idea or invention that I want to patent. I asked about retail laws because I've considered starting my own clothing line. Finally, I asked about music covers because I have also considered taking a completely different route and entering the music industry. I was curious about music covers because I hear many artists recording songs that have been done originally by artists in the past. If I ever did create a song cover, I would want to be sure I wouldn't get in any legal trouble.

Final Project: Legal Authority

"We depend upon the law to give us a stable nation and economy, a fair society, a safe place to live and work. But while law is a vital tool for crafting the society we want, there are no easy answers about how to create it. In a democracy, we all participate in the crafting. Legal rules control us, yet we create them. A working knowledge of the law can help build a successful career—and a solid democracy."(Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg 11-12)
 To avoid catching him off guard,  I had my boyfriend first contact Mr. Smedly since the two of them are acquaintances. He told the man about my project and Mr. Smedly was more than happy to "take my case." He explained that he may not be an expert in all of my questions but that he will do his best. I reassured him that any information he may have is helpful. "Law is powerful, essential, and fascinating."(Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg. 3)

James was a good choice of an attorney for my project because I knew he would be honest. I wanted someone who is answer me simply and truthfully and if they didn't know the answer, to just tell me. I was looking to talk to someone who would be honest and straight forward about the laws we discuessed. "We may not always like the way our legal system works, but we depend on it to keep our society functioning." (Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg. 4)


James Smedly didn't seem like he was the negatively shady type of person that most lawyers are. It seems that the law is there to keep people in line and staying moral/ethical. Then why are most lawyers unethical and selfish? It doesn't make sense to me."Law is different from morality, yet the two are obviously linked. There are many instances when the law duplicates what all of us would regard as a moral position." (Beatty, Jeffrey F., Susan S. Samuelson. Cengage Advantage Books: Introduction to Business Law, 4th Edition. Cengage Learning, Pg. 7)